Dubious Logic

Counter Measures

There was a time when 'Germ Warfare' was a term found in bridge literature. You will be relieved to hear that these weapons of mass disruption are now mostly banned. The phrase was used to describe artificial, almost random, bidding conventions on weak hands designed to upset the opponents when they held the balance of strength.

Another colourful item of jargon, the 'Fertiliser' bid (or simply, 'Fert') was typically a weak one-level opening with no defined suit. These were legislated away a decade ago but two-level artificial disruption still occurs. So what do you do when you come across the unknown?

From the Essex v Suffolk county match, as East at game all the auction starts unusually:

• AKJ1097
• 642
• J5
• A5

Two hearts is described as "less than an opening bid, both majors". That pre-supposes that you ask what they mean. It is absolutely vital you do – and receive an answer that satisfies you. If you want to know more precisely about strength at this vulnerability – ask! If you want to know the minimum length of each suit – ask! It is their duty to make sure you are alerted and properly informed. Names of conventions are not sufficient – you are not expected to have an encyclopaedic knowledge of obscure names and definitions.

Even pick-up partners have defences to the most common pre-emptive bids – should you have a defence to everything you might face? In tournament bridge with a regular partner, you should certainly cater for more. But, in a less exalted game (and perhaps, even in tournament play) life is short. What you should do is keep consistent.

Say you normally double pre-emptive openings for take-out, then if 'weird' openings show or possibly show the suit named, you should retain a take-out double. If they are in an either/or situation – for example two spades is a weak hand with a long unknown minor – then you should double to show spades (their artificial suit) and bid clubs and diamonds naturally when you hold them yourself. The value of no-trumps should be analogous to that over any weak opening at that level; so if you play that 2NT is 16-19 HCP over a natural weak two-heart or two-spade opening, it should be the same as in a situation like the diagram.

What should you do with your hand above? It's possible that you can make a spade contract but partner has passed and game is unlikely (you would need a couple of entries just to take spade finesses). There is every reason with your terrible heart holding (any honours partner has are under North's) to think no-one can make anything. Even though I would suggest that a two spade bid was natural, you've been warned off – pass is a much better call:

Two hearts failed on the easily found trump lead, two spades wasn't making either. Note that the spade finesse would fail. I'll be returning to this topic with a few more examples.

Published Saturday 5.Apr.2008